Thursday, January 08, 2004
Immigration Reform: a dialogue
Manager: Yes. Is there a problem?
Inspector: No, no. We just do these checks from time to time to insure that American workers won't be displaced.
Manager: Perfectly understandable. What's the drill?
Inspector: Well, why don't we start with a tour of the facilities, and after that we can talk wages and benefits.
Manager: Sounds good to me. Though the benefits talk will be short. Ha, ha!
Inspector: We shall see. Let me say first off that your facilities here are very impressive. I should think that any American would be proud to work in such conditions.
Manager: Oh yes, we're all Americans in this wing. The guest workers will be kept in the back. I'll take you there.
. . . .
Manager: As you can see—careful where you step, sir—this is the warehouse floor.
Inspector: What is that awful smell?
Manager: We're not quite sure.
Inspector: It's quite warm back here.
Manager: Yes, we've found that it isn't cost-efficient to air condition this area. If you'll step this way…
Inspector: Do you happen to have any ear-plugs? I'm finding this din quite disconcerting.
Manager: What was that?
Inspector: I said, oh never mind.
Manager: Sorry, I still didn't hear you. Right this way—watch your head…
Manager: Are you all right?
Manager: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Inspector: I think I'm bleeding.
Manager: WHAT? SEE HERE, I THINK YOU'RE BLEEDING.
Inspector: I HIT MY HEAD ON THAT PIPE.
Manager: STAY HERE……….I CHECKED THE FIRST AID KIT, BUT WE SEEM TO BE OUT OF BANDAGES. TRY TO STAUNCH THE BLEEDING WITH THIS RAG.
Inspector: THANK YOU. IF YOU DON'T MIND I THINK I'LL GO WASH THE CUT OUT IN THAT BATHROOM.
Manager: I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD FIND IT SANITARY. WHY DON'T WE GO BACK TO MY OFFICE? YOU CAN USE MY EXECUTIVE WASHROOM.
. . . .
Manager: Well, it looks like that cleaned up all right. Here's a bandage.
Inspector: Thank you.
Manager: Would you like some water to drink?
Manager: Is Evian ok?
Inspector: That would be fine. Let's get back to business. What kind of wages do these jobs pay?
Manager: Minimum wage after a short training period.
Inspector: Do most of the employees make overtime?
Manager: Currently they do, but we're hoping to phase that out once we have an adequate work force.
Manager: They get to live in America. Ha, ha!
Manager: So what's the verdict?
Inspector: I see no problem with your certification.