Wednesday, September 08, 2004
The pursuit of Happiness
The Ministry of Happiness was established by The Great Leader in darker days than these. In only a few short years the Ministry's struggles against despair and dissolution have effected a radical change in the development of our revelries, transforming them from small, backward individual celebrations to large-scale advanced collective festivities. We are moving full steam ahead along the path of Happiness.---
And yet, there have been setbacks. Counter-revelrytionary forces in The Bread Company conspired against Happiness and sought division amongst us. This conspiracy struck at the very core of Happiness with the result that The Great Leader was thrown from power, his polices repudiated and reputation sullied.
The current Minister has remained silent on these issues. But it seems to me now that there is a bright road ahead and the potential for a Great Leap Forward.
I call upon The Minister to let it be known that The Ministry of Happiness continues to subscribe to the vision of The Great Leader. We must each partake of Happiness according to our own needs, and must also contribute to Happiness according to our own abilities.
This fundamental principle was vitiated by The Tyrant following his unlawful seizure of power from The Great Leader. It must regain its status as the basic law of Happiness.
To this end I call for the establishment The Commissariat of Conviviality. It shall be the task of the Commissariat to ensure broad and satisfactory Happiness through a rigorous program of re-education in Happiness, a program which will within five years succeed in dissolving all remnants of counter-revelration.
This mission is of utmost importance and its successful completion requires strong leadership. Mindful of this, I nominate Jane Doe* for the position of Commissar of Conviviality and move that she be assigned full plenipotentiary powers. Her years of service with Hapintern have demonstrated her ability, and her historical acquaintance with The Great Leader ensures that she has the wisdom and experience necessary to deal with any retrograde elements who might seek to undermine the unity of Happiness.
* Do you really need a footnote to figure out that "Jane Doe" is a pseudonym?